Engagement should be about romance, the prospect of the future, and love. However, along with the engagement comes a new range of costs: the party, the big hit that is the wedding, and immediately – the cost of the engagement ring. How much should you spend on an engagement ring? Are there rules you should be following? How do you meet expectations without breaking the bank?

The national average cost of an engagement ring is $5,500, but spending varies widely. Nearly a quarter of all respondents in my study spend between $1,000 and $5,000, while 25% spend over $10,000. So, how much should you spend?

The reality is that you should probably set the budget before you do the browsing. It’s not much fun to discover the much-coveted ring isn’t a realistic prospect without an extra mortgage. However, you should also note that there is no set amount that you should spend. What’s right for you, and your relationship, is personal. However, there are some guidelines which will help you decide.

Most of these guidelines are summed up in etiquette rules of the past. Let’s take a look at these and see how realistic they are for helping you decide how much you should spend on an engagement ring.

One Month’s Vs Three Month’s Salary

The idea of spending one to three months’ salary on an engagement ring has its roots in a De Beers advertising campaign. This guideline was crafted to boost diamond sales by establishing a cultural norm for engagement ring spending. You can read more about the origins of this marketing strategy in this BBC article.

According to the US Census Bureau, the median age for marriage in 2022 was 28.6 years old for women and 30.5 years old for men, as detailed in their report. At these ages, financial situations can vary widely, and the reality is that your budget should depend on what you can comfortably afford.

Need ideas for rings? Why not this Platinum Vatche Tiffany Style 6-Prong Solitaire Engagement Ring

Personally, I saved up for six months before purchasing the ring. This approach allowed me to buy a ring that I felt was meaningful without causing financial strain. Many diamond companies offer excellent trade-up programs, which can be a valuable option if you’re looking to upgrade your ring in the future. You can explore some of the best trade-up programs in this guide.

Ultimately, the amount you spend on an engagement ring should reflect your personal financial situation and priorities. The traditional salary-based guidelines are just that—guidelines. Focus on what feels right for you and your partner.

This gives you a good working guide, however, it doesn’t take in to account your own personal circumstances at all. Even if you earn the national average salary it doesn’t mean that your finances are completely average. This situation may lead to over-stretching yourself on one hand, or not truly demonstrating your fiancée’s worth on the other.

How to Choose the Right Ring for Your Budget

Choosing the right engagement ring within your budget can be a daunting task, but with the right approach, you can find a beautiful ring that fits both your style and financial situation.

Consider Lab-Grown Diamonds

For those with smaller budgets, lab-grown diamonds are an excellent alternative to natural diamonds. They are chemically identical to mined diamonds but are typically much more affordable. Lab-grown diamonds allow you to get a larger or higher quality stone for the same price as a smaller natural diamond.

A stunning 1.04 ct G VVS2 Round Cut Precision Lab Grown Diamond from Whiteflash

Get Reputable Diamond Reports

When purchasing a diamond, it’s crucial to obtain diamond reports from reputable organizations like the GIA (Gemological Institute of America) or the International Gemological Institution (IGI) for lab diamonds . These reports provide detailed information about the diamond’s quality and characteristics. To ensure you’re getting exactly what you pay for, back up the reports with high-quality images and videos of the diamond.

A bright 1.53 Ct. Fancy Vivid Yellow Cushion Lab Grown Diamond from Brilliant Earth

Understand the 4Cs

The 4Cs—Cut, Color, Clarity, and Carat weight—are the key factors that determine a diamond’s value and appearance. Understanding these characteristics will help you prioritize what is most important to you:

• Cut: A well-cut diamond reflects light beautifully and enhances its sparkle.
• Color: Diamonds range from colorless to light yellow or brown. Colorless diamonds are more valuable.
• Clarity: Refers to the presence of internal or external flaws. Fewer flaws mean higher clarity and value.
• Carat Weight: This measures the diamond’s size. Larger diamonds are rarer and more expensive.

Research Metals

The metal of the ring band is another important consideration. Each metal has its own characteristics and costs. Research the different options to find what works best for you:

• Platinum: Durable and hypoallergenic, but more expensive.
• White Gold: Elegant and less expensive than platinum, but requires occasional re-plating.
• Yellow Gold: Classic and timeless, with a rich color.
• Rose Gold: Unique and romantic with a pinkish hue.

For more information on the differences between these metals, check out this detailed comparison here.

By considering these factors and doing thorough research, you can find the perfect engagement ring that fits your budget and meets your expectations.

Say Goodbye to the Rules

When it comes to choosing an engagement ring, traditional rules and guidelines can often feel restrictive. It’s important to remember that these “rules” are not set in stone and can be adapted to suit your personal circumstances. Here’s how you can say goodbye to the conventional rules and find a ring that truly reflects your relationship and budget.

Personal Circumstances

Every couple’s financial situation is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. Instead of feeling pressured to meet a specific spending benchmark, focus on what you can comfortably afford. Your love and commitment are not measured by the price of a ring but by the strength of your relationship.

Consider a Temporary Setting

If you’re on a tight budget, consider purchasing a temporary ring setting. This allows you to buy a beautiful but less expensive ring now, with the option to upgrade to a more elaborate setting in the future. This approach gives you time to save up for the perfect ring without delaying your engagement.

Forget the Three-Month Rule

The outdated three-month salary rule is a marketing myth designed to boost diamond sales. There’s no need to follow this guideline if it doesn’t fit your financial situation. Spend an amount that feels right for you, whether that’s one month’s salary, two weeks’ pay, or any other amount that aligns with your budget.

Prioritize What Matters to You

Think about what aspects of the ring are most important to you and your partner. Whether it’s the size of the diamond, the type of metal, or the ring’s design, focus on what truly matters and allocate your budget accordingly. By prioritizing your preferences, you can find a ring that feels perfect without overspending.

Embrace Creativity

There are many ways to make an engagement ring special without adhering to traditional norms. Consider incorporating personal touches, such as custom designs or family heirlooms, which can add sentimental value without a high price tag. Lab-grown diamonds and alternative gemstones are also excellent options for creating a unique and affordable ring.