You’re drumming up the confidence to lay your cards on the table, get down on one knee, and propose, but you want to do it in style. You want to be there, with the perfect ring which slips effortlessly on her finger, melts her heart, and leaves you as one beaming guy. How do you do that without raising suspicions? How do you work out someone’s ring size?

Even if you’re in this together, and the ring isn’t a surprise, you still need to know ring size. It will determine which rings look best, including cut and shape. It will make the shopping process so much easier.

So, conundrum one – how to work out your partner’s ring size without them knowing? Conundrum two – how to work out ring size?

Let’s actually start with the second conundrum. You’ll need some hints and tips from this if you’re to succeed in combating conundrum one.

How Are Ring Sizes Measured?

The perfect ring size is one that is comfortable, but doesn’t slip off the finger. This is a careful balance of needs.

Obviously, you could head to a jeweler and let them do the hard work for you, using their ring measuring tools. However, life tends to be a little busy for that. The traditional home based way of doing it yourself is with string and a ruler. This is probably going to be your easiest basic technique if you’re heading down the engagement surprise route.

Simply you take string, loop it around the ring finger at a comfortable but snug level of tautness, tie it, mark it, and measure it. Importantly, you must make sure your ‘string ring’ rolls or slips over the knuckle, whilst also not being overly loose. Err on the side of caution as rings are slightly smaller when cold (when being put on), and choose a time when the hands are not cold.

An alternative modern solution uses technology to help you along. You can get your ring finger measurements using your computer, with a tool, such as this one from Whiteflash. If that’s not an option, then you can always print out ring size templates, but do make sure you print to scale.

How to Measure a Ring Finger Discreetly

Now to solve the second conundrum. This is the point at which you need to get in your best detective mood to ensure you get it right, first time, and are all set to impress.

If your soon-to-be fiancée already wears rings then you’re in luck. Simply ‘borrow’ one and head in to a jewelry store. All you need to do is get it back before she realises it’s missing.

However, if that’s not possible, or she doesn’t already wear rings, then it’s time to call in the cavalry. Your first port of call should be to ask close friends and relations if they can help. Mothers, grandmothers, and best friends are often useful sources of information, and if they aren’t, they will be useful to have onside with your detective work.

It’s time to get ingenious. If you’re lucky, your partner may sleep so deeply that you can go to bed armed with string, and measure it accurately come morning. You may be able to carefully compare your partner’s hands against another’s to make a good ‘guestimation’. You could playfully prompt an activity that gets hands mucky, and in the process of cleaning off the dirt from your partner’s hands, take a swift measurement using the cloth. The options that work best for you will depend on the nature of your relationship, the help you’ve got, and how much time you have.

What Happens if I Get the Ring Size Wrong?

If, despite your best efforts, you still don’t get the ring measurement spot on, don’t panic. Expert skilled jewelers can change the size of the ring at a later stage. It is sensible to be prudent and go too big rather than too small, however, both problems can be solved.